Midnight Musings

Do you ever wonder how your life came to this? Lying in bed at quarter to midnight in the middle of May buying posters of Muhammad Ali.

I suppose that memory of him is important to me in some way. This quote carried me through a dark time.

“Impossible is just a word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

And anyway then you remember that things could be worse. You could be like Rishi Sunak and go out in the pouring rain to give a really important speech.

Old Beginnings

I’ve just deleted everything old. I’ll start again and see what happens. Though I kept that first post from three years ago I may yet decide to delete that too when the time is right. Back then I was desperately seeking an exit through this writing, but to what I couldn’t say. Maybe fame or perhaps some form of recognition. I was failing. I kept trying but just kept on failing and so I needed an exit.

Now that desperation has passed so I can write here for myself. That truth and those experiences I’ve alluded to in my first post all those years ago still (unfortunately) exists. The difference is that I don’t need to write with one eye towards any kind of commercial success.

Beginning of a Journey

I was in two minds about starting this blog until recently. Then the weight of events tipped the balance in favour of some space to vent. Or a place to create a new vision for myself.

I am a doctor in training in the UK. I’m also a “Person of Colour” being of Indian heritage. I suppose I was happy with my place in life for a long while. Perhaps “happy” is too strong a word for it. Better to say I accepted it. But my perspective is coloured by wanting better for my children. I look at Martin Luther King Jr’s speech and think we’re still not there. And I feel sad.

So to be able to present a reality of life as a person of colour seems like a small step to exert some control of the situation for myself.